Thursday, December 8, 2016

A Saturday at Nunally Drug Store: Our Brave Xanax Knight

Once upon a time, a brave, honest knight found himself trapped in front of a bridge by an angry troll. “You may not pass unless you give me all of your Xanax!” it screamed, stomping its enormous purple feet with a mighty thunder.
            “But I need this medication!” cried the knight, “Or else I cannot fight the dragon! I will be too nervous without it!”
            “That is not my problem!” rumbled the troll. “Give it, or you shall not pass!”
            The knight gave in to the troll’s demands, and went to the local apothecary for help. Unfortunately, the alchemist would not answer her chainmail request, so the knight charged through her chamber doors, demanding a new prescription so that he might slay the evil dragon.
            The alchemist stood at her bubbling, boiling cauldron, cackling and throwing eye of newt and fillet of a fenny snake into the midst of the poisonous fumes.
            “I can make you another batch of Xanax!” she cried, holding her wand high in the air, “But only if you give me all of your vile Mountain Dew!”

            It was then, dear children, when our brave knight awoke from his deep, drug-induced sleep, clutching to his Mountain Dew bottle for dear life. The end.

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