Missed It

        I knew we shouldn’t have tailgated that hard. I told myself I wouldn’t “break the seal” until the 7^th inning stretch, but my bladder has decided to scold me early. The new kid is up next, but I should be able to make it back by the time he strikes out. As I make my way across the bleachers, my friends attempt to get me to stick around for the at-bat. I would love to, but these are the only pants I brought. I Usain Bolt my way into the men’s room. No line. Perfect. I unzip my pants and hear an immense eruption from the crowd. “Thank you, thank you,” I think as I chuckle to myself. Wait…please don’t tell me I missed something good. I don’t even flush or zip up before running back to see everyone high-fiving and cheering. I look over to the dugout to find the rookie getting hugs from the rest of the team. I audibly sigh and turn back for another beer.