A Saturday at Nunally Drug Store: Magical Junkie Soup Recipe

Magical Junkie Soup:

(Serves: 4 people)

Ingredients:

3 consecutive phone calls

1 angry rant to the clerk

1 desperate appeal to the pharmacist

1 scrap of a police report

½ cup of freshly brewed crocodile tears

Directions:

1. Start by brewing ½ cup of crocodile tears, and pour them into your pharmacist’s cauldron (used specifically for dark prescription magic).

2. Fry 2 consecutive phone calls for twenty minutes, and reserve the 3^rd for later begging.

3. Afterwards, toss 1 police report into the cauldron and cook at a rolling boil for ten minutes. Chop up 1 desperate appeal for more Xanax while you wait.

4. Once the police report paper has disintegrated, and the letters are fully cooked, place 1 phone call to your insurance company.

5. Once your last phone call has finished cooking, shred 1 profanity-filled rant to the high school-aged clerk in front of you and sprinkle it atop your soup.

6. Enjoy.